How old are you & where are you located?

I’m 39 and currently in Las Vegas. 

Tell us a little bit about yourself.

I’d like to keep the intro part short. I love creating things that help others. By “things,” I mostly mean brands, design, and such. My wife and I are growing a creative agency, Favorly, that helps non-profits and companies who are trying to better the world. Besides doing a little good, it’s been a dream to work with her. Blending the lines between work and not-work, which have been so distinctly black-and-white worlds in our life. She’s my partner in all and definitely my muse. And in no particular order; blue, Nine Inch Nails, dog, India, Tacotarian. 

What I really want to talk about is why I didn't want to do this. My initial response was “NO.” Almost without hesitation… and it sort of caught me off guard. It wasn’t necessarily an image issue as there are plenty of photos of me on social media without a shirt, in tutus, just underwear, etc. I’m good with my appearance. Then I started thinking maybe it was a public professionalism thing? But that didn’t seem to hold much weight either. Well, I still can’t place the rationale for pause exactly. What I did realize is there isn’t a single damn reason that should have power over me standing out for exactly who I am. When we strip away the costume and comfort, it’s our bare selves that we should most proud of.

What is important for you when choosing underwear?

Quality. That really factors in everything: craftsmanship, material, style, and ethics. 

How does Badami’s underwear compare/standout to other brands you’ve worn?

Up until a month ago, I considered underwear disposable. I don’t think I chose them for any reason other than value and maybe color. This is really my first foray into better underwear. There really is no comparison. They feel effortless. They seem to be formed and fitted just for me. This is definitely some better underwear.

How has toxic masculinity affected you personally? How have you worked to grow from it?

Toxic masculinity has made me a liar. It’s made me dishonest about how I feel both to myself and the people I love. The heart is absolutely who we are and I’ve hidden portions of that from everyone in my life at various times. I don’t want to be deceitful. As I’ve gotten older and more solid in expressing who I am, I'm clashing against those barriers I've built with a lifetime of bending to the expectations of being a man. I’m chipping away at them though by trying to communicate more. It seems to be that simple. The more I’m honest about how I feel, the easier it gets to discuss it. Sometimes that conversation is just with myself, but as long as I give my emotions some presence of mind it makes vulnerability just a bit more bearable.

How have you witnessed manhood as a whole evolve in the last few years?

I believe being able to decide one’s gender identity is the most inspiring step in human evolution that we’ll ever see. It defies every system that has been set to define us. It’s a massive declaration of individuality and self that has only come into public with any sort of acceptance in the past few years. As we begin to really answer who we are, then all the ideals of manhood come into question. When the pressures to “grow a pair” and “be a man” dissolve, then we can just be the best version of ourselves. For the men who are already there, you have an obligation to proudly show what being a man should be: vulnerable, empathetic, and gentle. And every other thing should define what “being a man” really means.




Comments on this post (2)

  • Dec 22, 2020

    I really appreciable you’re using your talents for good, instead of using to land job with a big brand. Love your comments about how toxic masculinity had affected you. I scan relate in the same way. In the same ways it’s been hard for me to realized that all I’ve been doing g is lying to myself and depriving myself of what I really want in life. I’m excited to see your collection!

    — Fernando Sanabia

  • Dec 21, 2020

    Thank you for sharing specially about toxic masculinity!

    — Ruth Torres

Leave a comment